Salvation

I feel you everywhere I go
and I find you, traces of you.
sometimes it's unexpected
jimi hendrix painted on a street corner
in Dublin
Jefferson Starship on the radio
on the really hard days.
A really funny, inappropriate joke
at the table over
Days that just work out
and days that don't.
Those times, finding you is a 
secret code only I know
and you
those days, finding you
feels like salvation and
loosing you all over again.
Craving your soft hugs and
fearing the coldness after the warmth.
Those moments
I forget.
I painted my eyes with you
long ago.

No

The day you took my home
ate it up and left me
empty
the day you destroyed my voice
swallowed my "no"
I couldn't recognize it
I had been preparing for this day
trading dignity for safety
years of dulling my fear with
The illusion of control
Believing I could stop the fire inside you
From burning me
Not allowing myself to feel my
Already chard skin
I turned over and exchanged
your rage for my spirit
Your touch burned and
branded my skin
and my silence told me
It'll end soon
I don't know why I said "no"
on that day
the reservoir of refusal cracked
and slipped out the truth I
had avoided
contained and hid
the day you took my "no", and
flatened my words underneath
your weight
was just another day.
My life had ended
long before